TURNING 35

July 22, 2022

I am excited about my 35^th birthday. I have been looking forward to this day since November 2021, when I started writing this, during one of the most difficult times of my life. By the time this is published, I would have lived for 420 months, 1820 weeks, 12,740 days, 305,760 hours, 18,345,600 minutes, and 1,100,736,000 seconds. That is a lot of numbers, and I am thankful to God for every second of these 35 years.

On April 5 this year, I read from Psalm 138, it resonated then and now, and it’s my Scripture and Psalm for today. I praise the LORD with all my heart. I praise the LORD, for unfailing love and faithfulness, for answering me when I call and for greatly emboldening me. I praise the LORD who will vindicate me, whose love endures forever.

Thirty-five is a big deal. Did you know that the life expectancy for females in Nigeria is about 63 years and globally, it is about 74 years? Life expectancy is based on the average age at death of people in the category. The Bible also records life expectancy as 70 years, in Psalm 90. At 35, I am halfway there. It is a big deal. I pray to God to give me three more sets of 35 years if it pleases Him, and if the Second Coming tarries as long. Yet, I pray that more importantly, God will help me to treasure the gift of every day, and to use all my days to serve Him.

I had high hopes for myself, and many people had high hopes for me too. I had many false starts though, and many failures. Some of the fears I had when I turned 24 came true. 35 and nothing to show for it the way the world measures success. No titles or properties. Well-meaning people sometimes remind me of the many things I do not have. This year though, I do not want to forget the many things I have, the many ways that God has been good to me, and how I reflect God’s great love, even the teeniest bit.

You see, at 35, I have done a lot more than I imagined I would at 24. I have bought a lot of books, paid a lot of school fees, and paid some hospital bills too. I have taught a lot of people, opened their eyes to see their excellence, and spurred them to be their better selves. I have prayed for people. I have seen and listened to many people. I have been the life of many parties. I have started many conversations. I have learned many songs and read many books. I have written a few articles, poems, and short stories. Oh, I have danced!

At 35, I have poured out myself to the ones I love, and I will do it all over again if I have to.

What am I doing? Boasting? God forbids! I make no claim to superiority. The point of the list is not to say that I am somewhat worthy or better than some. Rather, I hope to spur you to celebrate the seemingly ordinary things God has accomplished through you.

The truth is, everyone has something and can do something, but we often focus on what we don’t have and what we cannot do and unwittingly slide into discontentment and desperation, a combination that is a highway to the abyss. So, instead of regret, shame, discontentment, envy, and desperation, I choose to count my blessings.

There’s something else, however. I have lived most of the last 35 years on other people’s terms. That is changing now. While I do not know whether I have another 35 years, going forward, I intend to be very deliberate about living my life on God’s terms, the way He has shown me to live it. It doesn’t have to make sense to anybody. I have only one life to live. I don’t know of any spare parts market for spare life, therefore, no more people pleasing.

If it pleases God to give me another 35 years, on my 70^th birthday, I want to be known as the girl who doesn’t care about what people would say, the girl who doesn’t fear death. No more letting fear control me. No more fearing the worst. It’s a new season. I want to pursue the things that are most important to me, as I mentioned in my article, “Against Time”. I want to focus on – loving the ones God has blessed me with, writing the pieces burning inside of me, and pursuing justice and mercy, especially through my “Love Projects”, as my friend, Judith tagged them. I want to learn a lot too. I want to bathe in the world God made and drink as much as my faculties and senses can absorb through formal and informal learning.