COMING TO TERMS WITH MY MORTALITY -- PREPARING TO DIE (JOURNEY TO THE PAST 2)

 


Another piece from the past. I referred to it in my article "Against Time". No edits, except maybe a few typos corrected. 

Every year, for the past 5 years, I write something to share with my friends and family on my birthday anniversary. This year, I have chosen what might be considered as a morbid topic, but it is what has been on my mind for a while now.

Yes, I am preparing to die. I have slowly come to realize the truth: I am not immortal! It is definitely going to be either one of two things for me – it is either that I die someday, or Jesus comes to take his own. The same is true for you too. I came to terms with being unmarried, long before the pressures started mounting, and I have peace with it, and have been able to thrive when some of my peers are burdened with worry and fear. Now, I am coming to terms with my mortality.

Realizing that every moment gets me closer to the moment when I die got me thinking. I had to ask myself the BIG question: Am I ready to die? I could not answer that question, and the major reason I couldn’t answer the question was because I realized that I was not prepared.

How foolish of me. How could I not be prepared to die, when I have no control of when I will eventually die? Am I more special, intelligent, God-fearing, spiritual, healthy, careful, prayerful, etc. than the people who have died? Do I not know of people my age or younger who have died? How can I take each day for granted, assuming carelessly that I have the next day? Especially when the
Bible teaches in James 4: 14 (NLT translation) “How do you know what your life will be like tomorrow? Your life is like the morning fog – it’s here a little while, then it’s gone.” How can I be so foolishly proud of something I have absolutely no control over? My life is a gift, and the Giver knows the expiry date.

During the journey of this realization, I learnt to acknowledge each day as a gift. I am also learning to trust the Giver of life.


Someone said to me, when I discussed this with them, “That must be so sad. You are carrying a heavy burden. I doubt there is any joy left in living for you.” How very wrong that person is. You see, the moment I started coming to terms with my mortality, I was filled with this unexplainable joy and peace. I no longer fear death or dying. And I think I have caught a glimpse of two Bible
passages

• “For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for
my sake will find it” Matthew 16: 25

• “For me to live is Christ and to die is gain” Philippians 1: 21

It frees me to embrace the truth: that death is not the final death, and there is a life after this one that we know, which is more important. It is for eternity, and what determines where we spend eternity is the decision we make here on earth. We are all sinners and deserving of death, but the Lord Jesus paid the price for our sins, and liberation. And the way to receive the gift that He has given (it cost him His life, and separation from His Father, but He was victorious, and defeated death), is simply believing in the Lord Jesus (Acts 16:21).

I no longer fear witches or evil forces, or fear that someone will poison me and kill me before my time. I know who owns my life, and who controls the switch. It is God alone. And only He can pull the plug. Whom shall I fear? I know who goes before me, and who stands behind. The Lord of Hosts! The God of Angel Armies is always by my side (words from a Chris Tomlin song).

It helps me to prioritize and make decisions too. I just have to look at everything with the lens of eternity. So, deciding between that expensive aso-ebi, or buying that car, and going for a mission’s trip or a vacation, or simply napping and going late for that wedding, has suddenly become easier. It
is suddenly easier to choose between two jobs. And more liberating, it is easier to forgive and let go.

I used to pray Psalm 90, especially vs 12: Teach me to realize the brevity of life, so that I may grow in wisdom. I am glad that God is answering that prayer, and I am coming to terms with my mortality. I pray that the Lord gives me some time, and that I am able to touch lives and minister to people for Him. But I am not taking it for granted that I have all the time in the world. I am getting to work fast. For night is coming when I won’t be able to work. I must live purposefully, while it is still DAY!

I invite you to join me in coming to terms with your mortality. If Jesus tarries, you will die one day. What are you doing about your life? Are you wasting your days? What informs your critical decisions?

I will die one day, if Jesus tarries, and we don’t know when. We just know that we are closer to the day we will die today, than when we were born. If you are still alive when I die, don’t sorrow. Rejoice, for death is not final! Sing hymns and songs of worship. Do Karaoke. Wear bright colours – No black or drab outfits for me.

And you can sing the last verse of the song “In Christ Alone” with me.

JULY 23, 2016

"No guilt in life, no fear in death
This is the power of Christ in me
From life's first cry to final breath
Jesus commands my destiny
No power of hell, no scheme of man
Can ever pluck me from His hand
Till He returns or calls me home
Here in the power of Christ I'll stand"

Culled from "In Christ Alone", written by Keith Getty and Stuart Townend

Comments

Nancy Bawo said…
Yes, I too have long since come to terms with my mortality and it has been liberating. It actually makes life sweeter and easier to enjoy.
24 July 2022 at 06:21
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

DARKEST NIGHTS

Image
  Photo by Timothée Duran on Unsplash If a new day starts at midnight, then the day begins with night. Last Saturday was a ridiculously hot and dark night. There was power outage, and my inverter was about to give way as it blinked and cried out from battery depletion. I had no other alternate power generating set. I was irritable. I hate dark nights, and it is worse when the dark nights are also hot. However, anyone who lives in Nigeria like me is no stranger to dark nights, and this was why I got an inverter. But inverter batteries do deplete, and when there has been no power for four whole days, the batteries eventually die. I was cranky that night/morning. What was it about the dark nights that put me off so much? Could it be the long-running battles I had with sleep paralysis? Back then, we attributed it to demons or witches pressing us while we slept. Or maybe it was because of how my mind would wander to places that I was afraid of when I wasn’t sleeping or reading. Not sure!
Read more

AGAINST TIME

Image
  Photo by Morgan Housel on Unsplash In thirty-five days, I will finally be thirty-five, and I am excited. I remember the year I turned twenty-four. The build-up to my birthday was the worst ever, and that day, I was sad and ashamed, quite the opposite of how I feel about turning thirty-five. I have been reflecting and planning for this big milestone in my life, and I am excited to share it with you. I am trying to live against time. I came to terms with my mortality in 2016. It seemed morbid, but I realized the truth, that I am not immortal, that I will die someday, and I do not know when. I am still not ready to die, and for me, that is frightening. I want to be able to look at death in its face and not be afraid. I have no control over when I will die. I am not more special, intelligent, God-fearing, spiritual, careful, or prayerful than the people who have died. I am not healthier than they were. My life is a gift from God, and only the Giver knows the expiry date. I pray for ma
Read more

I AM A BELIEVER

Image
Photo by Aaron Burden on Unsplash I will tell you what this means. It means that I believe in God the Father, the Almighty, Creator of heaven and earth, and all that is, seen and unseen. I believe in Jesus, Son of God and Saviour of the world, who was conceived by the Holy Spirit and born of the virgin Mary, who is the only perfect hero who ever lived, sinless, guileless, all good, executed on a cross at Calvary, fulfilling a plan ordained by God from the beginning of time. I believe in the Holy Spirit, who helps and teaches me to follow the way of God, and who assures me of eternal life. It means that I know that I am a sinner , but I also know that God has saved me and is shaping me to be the person He wants me to be. I know that I am not inherently good . Like the worst sinner you can imagine, if left to myself, I have tendencies that could make me as despicable and hateful as Adolf Hitler or King Leopold II of Belgium, and any good I ever do is because God works through me .
Read more