A WOMAN'S CALLING

 

Photo by Taylor Wright on Unsplash

What is a woman's highest calling? Marriage or motherhood? 

Our biological make-up reminds us that we are responsible for bearing children. It is as if we were made for this. Our physiology and anatomy are designed for childbearing. We are physically less dominant than men because we have more oestrogen instead of more progesterone. This limits our participation in a few physical activities, hence women have sporting competitions separately from men. Our breasts form differently from men’s breasts, reminding us of babies suckling, and while it gives us a different form of beauty, it comes with its stress, like finding the perfect bra to package it, especially for easier movement and to protect from injuries during exercises. Our hips too are shaped differently from men’s, to support childbearing, and push babies out of the womb.

Then there is the worst for many women – our wombs. Every month, for most women, from teenage years until their mid-fifties when menopause comes, our uterus sheds its linings, reminding us that the womb has one sole purpose – to incubate children. We endure the bleeding, the abdominal and lower back pains, sometimes sensitive skin, nausea, headaches, fevers, bloated abdomen, swollen gums, joint aches, and a plethora of other symptoms (each woman experiences menstruation differently), knowing that we must menstruate because sometime in our future or past, we expect to experience conception and childbirth. Just days after menstruation, the body reminds us again, with ovulation.

There is also the vagina. The birth canal. The place designed for the sperm to pass to enable fertilization and conception, and the eventual passage for our babies. 

The woman’s body is designed for childbirth.

And we have just from menarche to menopause to achieve this calling. This is why women experience childlessness differently from men. It is the main reason for the pressure on women to marry young. Marry in the peak of your fertility, to fulfill your highest calling. Not minding that subject of fertility is multifaceted. 

For the single Christian woman who has never married, this could be devastating. You do not want to get pregnant outside of wedlock because you honour God's Word and want to flee fornication. Yet, you may be approaching menopause or even be past it. It is as if the body is unfulfilled in innumerable ways – never experiencing the joy of sex, never conceiving a child and being pregnant, and never birthing a child. It could be tortuous to be unfulfilled that way and to not have the privilege of hope that one day, your body will fulfil its purpose.

Added to all these is the teaching in some Christian settings that a woman’s role in the body of Christ is “Wife and Mother” and that that is the place of the woman in God’s economy. Tom Ascol used those exact words in a documentary by Founders’ Ministry. He also said that the highest calling in the world is to be a Mother. So here you are Christian woman, with no husband, and waning hope of having your biological children, and because you have not achieved these, you wonder whether you have a place in the body of Christ, whether you are less Christian, or whether you are even God’s own. So, you probably consider solving the problem of motherhood yourself, outside of God’s design, without considering the diverse ways you will be causing hurt to others.

Your desires for marriage and even biological children are valid. And if it pleases God, you will have them. People will say things about your biological clock and desirability as you get older. These things may make you seem forgotten, even forsaken by God. But my dear woman who loves Jesus, do not forget the many examples in the Bible, the many witnesses of God’s defiance of statistics and biological expectations like Sarah, Hannah, and Elizabeth. In the words of Winfree Brisley, “We have a greater hope than statistics. The One who created and formed us, who knows us and the plans he has for us, also knows when the time is right for us to marry.”

Yet some of us will not marry at all, even though we desire to. We can find comfort in knowing this: We are not our own. We didn’t make ourselves. We belong to God, the loving, all-powerful and all-knowing God (1 Cor 6:19-20, 1 Cor 3:23, Tit 2:14, Rom 14:7-9). He cares for us and watches over us and doesn’t let any evil befall us that He has not already approved, and that does not work out ultimately for our good (John 6:39-40, 10:27-30, 2 Thessalonians 3:3, 1 Peter 1:5, Matthew 10:29-31, Luke 21:16-18, Romans 8:28). Not marrying at all is not a dreadful thing or a curse. Paul expounds on the blessings of singleness in 1 Corinthians 7. Being single is a godly path. If in God’s providence, he has not brought a godly man into your life who wants to marry you and who you want to marry, don’t you think that you are living the life God made you for?

Also, remember that there are many ways to mother. You can be the greatest aunt ever. You can be a spiritual mother to many. You can foster and even adopt children who have become victims of the evils of sin and the tragedies of a broken world and need parents.

Finally, we cannot rely on biology for all the answers. What about the many married women who cannot conceive because their husbands are infertile? What about those who conceive but are not able to carry their babies to term because of a variety of issues and problems? Did you know that about sixty percent of women who opt for IVF (in vitro fertilisation) are still unable to conceive after treatment? Are their lives worthless? Should they hide in shame? 

We have to look beyond biology, to the designer of biology for our answers.

For we are God's masterpiece (handiwork or workmanship)! See Ephesians 2 vs 10: "For we are God's masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so that we can do the good things He has planned for us long ago."

Though our Creator may have designed your body for childbirth, God made you for more than childbirth, you were made for God. The highest calling in the world is not to be a mother. The highest calling in the world is to be a CHILD OF GOD.

Photo by Diana Simumpande on Unsplash